There’s nothing I wanted to do more in yesterday’s searing heat than get into my swimmers and have a good old splash about somewhere I can see and be seen. Somewhere like, say, Alton Towers. Oh, that’s right. I wouldn’t be welcome there in my tighty-whiteys anymore as it’s gone and slapped a ban on Speedos. Sigh. Its sales and marketing director, Morwenna Angove, says that Alton Towers’ waterpark team has observed an increase in the number of men wearing “tighter trunk-style swimwear” while enjoying the tropical temperatures. “We feel this small brief style is not appropriate for a family venue so we are advising male bathers to wear more protective swimwear like shorts. We are also looking into offering complimentary male waxing, which will preserve the dignity of all our guests,” says Angove. Extraordinary. What if Speedos itself chooses Alton Towers to host one of its product launches? Will the waterpark team put their family policy and waxing service aside to bring in that lucrative C&I cash?
– Conference Boy
